Lamley Daily: Hot Wheels Pontiac Aztek

(Find the Hot Wheels Pontiac Aztek on Ebay)

My thought process when I begin to put together a Lamley article is normally pretty scattered and random, and I can take many days to pick something out of the sea of thoughts. Sometimes I plan to do one thing, become hyper focused and settled and then BAM: I’ve changed direction. And today that Sidewinder-esque change of direction brings you this:

Initially I’d planned on a side-by-side of Maisto’s Ford Bronco and the new Matchbox Ford F-250 pickup but words weren’t finding me. I’ll get there though. But sifting through my finds from my break in Germany recently I spotted this, which I discovered in duty free at Amsterdam Schipol airport whilst waiting for a connecting flight. So here we are.

Produced between 2000 and 2005, it’s safe to say the Pontiac Aztek never really took off the way it was intended to. Previewed in concept form in 1999, the initial design was well received and GM had forecasted sales of 75,000 a year when production began a year later. In reality however things were a little different; just under 120,000 were sold over a seven year period. That’s not to say the car didn’t initially find favour; the model performed highly in customer satisfaction surveys, even winning “Most Appealing Entry Sport Utility Vehicle” in 2001’s JD Power survey.

But then there was the styling. Designed by Tom Peters (who would later go on to design the Corvette C7) the Aztek was supposed to be a “bold, in-your-face vehicle that wasn’t for everybody”. And it certainly succeeded at the last part of that statement. The Aztek is consistently voted one of the ugliest and worst cars ever and is often blamed for destroying the reputation of Pontiac as a brand. The motoring press hated it.

Karl Brauer, editor at TotalCarScore.com said the Aztek featured “atrocious proportions wrapped in plastic body cladding,” and “looked like a station wagon stretched out by a car bomb.” Car and Driver wrote: “Every time we look at the Aztek, we wonder what they were thinking.”, and The Car Connection wrote of the Aztek “Jaw-dropping, chin-scratching, what-the-heck-is-that?”

The negative reviews hit hard: In 2008 The Daily Telegraph placed the Aztek at number one of the “100 ugliest cars” of all time, a year after Time magazine named it one of the 50 worst cars of all time. And Time wasn’t done with the Aztek either, naming it in 2010 as one of the 50 worst inventions of all time. And to this day if you find a clickbait article of “worst cars” or “automotive failures” you’re almost guaranteed to find an Aztek listed somewhere, if not holding the top spot.

But I’m of the opinion that the Aztek was ahead of it’s time. And I’m not the only one. The trend in pig-ugly, offensive SUVs and boring, hope destroying “crossovers” is in full swing, and you only need to look at the current swell of arse water that modern designers are knocking out to see that people want ugly and offensive. Has anyone looked at a BMW IX or 7-Series recently? They look about as aesthetically pleasing as an infected boil on your nether regions, but yet I see about 4 or 5 of them on my daily commute, and surprisingly their drivers appear relatively sane. If the Aztek had arrived in the current era, it would surely be a different story. And thanks to Walter White, the protagonist of Breaking Bad, Azteks are apparently becoming rather cool.

And that may explain why the Aztek made it’s way into the Hot Wheels mainline, albeit in a heavily modified form…

Designed by Craig Callum, the Aztek arrives as part of the HW Modified series and the fact I actually bought one should tell you all you need to know. It’s very cool indeed.

It’s an answer to the question that nobody has ever asked: what if Pontiac took the Aztek racing? The wide arches and mad aero are at a total juxtaposition to the soccer mom image and instead of being parked outside Costco, I could easily picture this thing doing a Pikes Peak run.

This is precisely the sort of casting I’d have added to my collection when I was a kid, and I’m happy to have now. And I hope it’s not the last Aztek we see on the pegs. A stock Matchbox version would be very cool, as would an Auto World. Chinese brand GOC have a 1:64 Aztek incoming which I’m looking forward to and Greenlight have replicated an Aztek, albeit in 1:43 scale; Walter’s beat up version from Breaking Bad sits in their Hollywood line. And speaking of Breaking Bad….

That’s a pork pie hat and a pair of glasses on the parcel shelf, just like those worn by Walter White himself. A very cool Easter Egg on a very cool casting.

I’m sure this will reappear in the Mainline or maybe even premium lines in the future and given how neat this is, Hot Wheels designers will have a very solid base to work from.

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